The Prince of the Commonwealth, Consort of Queen Elizabeth II, Old Guy. Or what some people call: A Racist Sonavabi’ch. His duties as Consort, or male play toy of the Queen, take him all over the world where people are offended by his remarks about their cultures. He creates new hatreds towards the ‘crown’ and distrust of the ‘throne’ with his racist remarks, in a time when white western world people don’t need it… they got enough problems with the natives coming home to roost. Somehow he remains the top sugar daddy of the western world, and frankly should carry a chalice, made of his choice of metals and gems, everywhere he goes.
I have to say that I have tried to describe myself in recent years as an “Anti-Racist”. I have tried to argue, not so much confront, but debate, racists – only when they were up to it. I know you can’t argue someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into, but it’s an easy win and I like debate, and I’m passionate about equality and fairness. And even when you don’t win the debate you realize how stupid the person really is – so sometimes it isn’t even really about winning at all. People know me as a coward, and it’s true, so I only fight someone when they want to and we both know it’s just a debate. And to be fair, I sometimes see “racism” even when it isn’t there (but to risk sounding like a crazy person, sometimes you don’t see the real world effects of this mental disease, as some might call it).
Hell, I wanted to sell T-Shirts once that read “Peace and Harmony” on the front and “Kill The Racists” on the back! Because you know that is funny, and if you don’t – you are a lower human being than I am.
The thing is with being a proclaimed “Anti-Racist”, I still like jokes. I love jokes actually, and jokes at anyone’s expense. Jokes, humor, satire, stand-up, parodies, puns, put-downs and ad-libs. Puns especially – good Marx Brothers puns are the best. Put-downs, roasts and ethnic jokes are right up there because they mix two of my favorite joke elements: suprise and disgust. That’s why puns are my favorite.
I know that many hold the view that if you aren’t a racist you can’t enjoy a racist joke. That’s why I call them ethnic jokes because sometimes that is what they are, and if I’m telling it, that’s what it is. I know a bunch, about a lot of different types of people. None of these jokes need to be told with the feeling or thought of racism. Now I’m going to look crazy, but we are talking stereotypes about any and all groups – even our own group. The ‘ethnic’ joke doesn’t have to be racist because you have the ability to use your own judgement too. And really, this applies to a broad spectrum of off-color jokes such as ‘sexist’ jokes: You can decide to take and tell it as a joke, you have the ability to draw the line and, ultimately, know in your heart when you have entered a territory of hate and not humor.
Let me take you into a world of humor, based on a quick scan of Wikipedia: Prince Philip’s Controversial Remarks. Read them and decide for yourself. The jokes are certainly insensitive, but they are pretty damn funny. The “British women can’t cook” line is just an old stab at women almost anywhere, like we haven’t seen it go in both directions – right fellas!?!? What I see are jokes based on stereotypes and attempts at humor based on the history of the people he is visiting. Maybe he is a racist, and I’ve been suckered, but the comments don’t seem to be angry, they seem to be jovial. Read on…
- Speaking to a driving instructor in Scotland, he asked: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
- When visiting China in 1986, he told a group of British students, “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed”.
- After accepting a gift from a Kenyan citizen he replied, “You are a woman, aren’t you?”
- “If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” (1986)
- In 1966 he remarked that “British women can’t cook.”
- To a British student in Papua New Guinea: “You managed not to get eaten then?”
- Angering local residents in Lockerbie when on a visit to the town in 1993, the Prince said to a man who lived in a road where eleven people had been killed by wreckage from the Pan Am jumbo jet: “People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle.”
- On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, he told a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, “Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.”
- In 2002, he asked an Indigenous Australian businessman, “Do you still throw spears at each other?”
- Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary, “You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.” (1993)
- Seeing a shoddily installed fuse box in a high-tech Edinburgh factory, HRH remarked that it looked “like it was put in by an Indian“.
- “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)
- At the height of the recession in 1981 he said: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.”
- Upon presenting a Duke of Edinburgh Award to a student, when informed that the young man was going to help out in Romania for six months, he asked if the student was going to help the Romanian orphans; upon being informed he was not, it was claimed the 85-year-old duke added: “Ah good, there’s so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages.”
- At the University of Salford, he told a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut: “You could do with losing a bit of weight.”
- In 1997, the Duke of Edinburgh, participating in an already controversial British visit to the Jallianwala Bagh massacre (Amritsar Massacre) Monument, provoked outrage in India and in the UK with an offhand comment. Having observed a plaque claiming “This place is saturated with the blood of about two thousand Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims who were martyred in a non-violent struggle.”, Prince Philip observed, “That’s a bit exaggerated, it must include the wounded”. When asked how he had come to this conclusion Philip said “I was told about the killings by General Dyer‘s son. I’d met him while I was in the Navy.” 
- During a Royal visit to a Tamil Hindu temple in London, he asked a Hindu priest if he was related to terrorist organization the Tamil Tigers.
- In 1996, he drew sharp criticism when he said “a gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman”. The comment came in the wake of the massacre of 16 children and their teacher in Dunblane, Scotland.
- In 1987, he wrote in his foreword to If I Were an Animal that “In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.”
- In 2002, speaking to a blind, wheelchair bound woman who was accompanied by her guide dog, he remarked : “Do you know they’re now producing eating dogs for the anorexics?”
The joke he made after the plan crash that angered so many makes me think he is just trying to relate to people and it doesn’t work, despite his seemingly best efforts. He is trying to make light of a bad situation. That’s why I ask people:
Do you know Osama Bin Laden’s favorite NFL Football team?
Of course the New York Jets!
What? Too soon?
Image under use with Share Alike-Attribution Creative Commons License by: Flickr User: Yausser.