LAME: Getting Kids Hooked on Pocky

Posted in Advice, Lame, News, Rant, Review, Satire, Shopping, Words of Wisdom on January 28th, 2012 by admin
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These Japanese – they all have a scary and dangerous addiction to a evil menace that seems to now threaten the world population. Pocky.

Sure, it seems innocent. Chocolate (or strawberry, cappuccino or worse) over a cracker. But it’s on a stick. Nothing good comes on a stick. What’s worse is good ol’ Americans import and eat this stuff all the time. If you are a Hipster or are faking an interest in Japanese culture (to mask your sick manga addiction) you have some in your glove box or stashed away somewhere.

Now, here in America we like hot dogs wrapped in corn bread on a stick. There is nothing wrong with a corn dog – there is little chance at addiction, there is absolutely no problem if you eat 10 to 30 in a day.

I wasn’t too worried about this menace when I was first introduced to it. I shook the habit and realized I wouldn’t spend enough time in my local specialty food store to get my hands on Pocky. But after going to this grocery store of the world to pick up a 55 gallon drum of peanut oil (for making steaks) I discovered the item pictured above.

After some debate in the Japanese import aisle I found myself lost in – I did the unspeakable and purchased some of this Pocky. I cringed at the idea of another slimy Japanese Mafia member making money off my purchase. I had to test my theory. Sure enough when you combine the addictive and menacing substance with a clean cut childhood figure – in this case Thomas the Tank Engine – kids can’t resist the stuff.

Parents, keep your kids out of the Japanese foods aisle. Upon sight alone they will want it, and will be at the same time throwing their lives away. You might as well withdraw their college accounts now and prepare them for a Lindsey Lohan lifestyle. They will later, no doubt, be stealing to support their Pocky habit.

So sinister. You’ve been warned.

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LAME: 2012 Chevy Sonic Recalled Already – It Was Shipped Without Break Pads

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Lame, News, Rant, Review, Shopping on December 30th, 2011 by admin
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D’OH – Chevy Sonic Missing Break Pads Upon Shipping

Seems like a bonehead mistake, of gigantic proportions. Chevrolet has shipped their 2012 Sonic without break pads installed – no big deal. Oh, wait, we need those in order to keep from careening into intersections full of people and/or car? Well crap, let’s get to the dealer. No wonder it was $500 off, they just sold us a kit, not a car. Some assembly required I guess. Given that, we assume, most cars are made with robots I’m not sure how this would have happened – oh yeah, the robots aren’t aware that pads need to 101% be installed. If maybe, I don’t know, people still put cars together someone would have caught the mistake. I’m sure the guy who worked the assembly line for 40 years (and knows more about your car than the guy who drew up the blueprints) would have stopped production before such a deadly product was shipped. And they say we need tort reform? I think this shows we need something, anything, to keep companies on their toes. Not that we need to sue Chevy all at once now. Not at all – but if they weren’t worried about lawsuits I wonder if they’d ever give us break pads? It sure doesn’t seem like something on the forefront of their mind. Can’t wait to see The Consumerist get a hold of this one.

Here is what SlashGear had to say, the source (for me) of the story…

We’re pretty certain that someone at General Motors is in a whole heap of trouble this week as its been discovered that a batch of their Chevrolet Sonic cars with missing brake pads have left the factory and were sold in kind to unsuspecting customers. While these missing pads aren’t currently being rated as something so fatal that GM is recommending a total instant freak-out on the part of car owners, if you are one of those owners, you probably should bring your car in to be checked. Nothing like cruising into grandma’s house for New Years and finding yourself on the other side because you brakes just… you know… aren’t there.

via 2012 Chevrolet Sonic recalled due to missing brake pads – SlashGear.

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Listen to Al Jazeera (English) With Live Audio Only Feed To Save Bandwidth

Posted in Advice, Howto, Music, News, Not Lame, Politics, Religion on February 11th, 2011 by admin
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Al Jazeera English Live

Not willing or unable to keep up with the news in Egypt, Tunisia or Yemen by watching Al Jazeera’s (new, freely available) Adobe Flash feed? Want to give Al Jazeera a break for offering such a valuable (and high quality) feed for free? Use the link below to play the audio from the Al Jazeera’s English feed on your PC or on your Television’s set-top box (Roku, Boxee, Google TV, Apple TV) – maybe even your mobile phone (Android & iPhone compatible) or tablet device (Sony Dash?). Perfect for listening in the office while you work or while you complete other tasks on your PC or around your home.

The best source for news in or affecting the Arab world.

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Not Lame: Only Charlie Sheen Has His Priorities Straight

Posted in Clip, FAIL, News, Not Lame, Rant on February 3rd, 2011 by admin
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Charlie Sheen says the focus on his latest escapade is not worth media attention, especially with all that’s going on. Not because he’s embarrassed, not at all. It’s not the stories about porn stars, suitcases of drugs – it’s the principle of the situation.

He told eonline.com via text message about the rumors swirling about him, “Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I’m alive. You’re all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong.”

“BTW, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bulls***?”

Shame shame shame.”

Sad thing is, he’s right…

via Charlie Sheen thinks the media focus on his troubled life is pathetic | AHN.

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What’s Lame – February 3rd, 2011 Edition – Lil Wayne Relocates to Green Bay, Records Super Bowl 2011 Anthem For Packers

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Kinda Lame, Lame, Music, News, Photo, Rant, Video, Youtube on February 3rd, 2011 by admin
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Lil Wayne is a Cheesehead?

Despite claiming that he’d one day carry New Orleans on his back the Martian Lil’ Wayne has recorded a very interesting freestyle ahead of Super Bowl XLV for Green Bay Packers fans, such as himself, to enjoy. Posted first on his blog WeezyThanxYou.com it has started making the rounds to other sites like Rap-Up.com (where I found it linked to from Twitter). A good friend said the song was decent, I think the lyrics are lame (“I’m a cheese head, ya’ll *****s cheese whiz”). Listen or download the song below and judge for yourself;

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download Link – Lil Wayne Freestyle – Green and Yellow

In other Exciting News… Monkeys Facepalm

Mandrill monkeys (they look like baboons, more info at link) have begun using the international sign of disgust to avoid social interactions. The Evolutionary Biologist studying the behavior has called it a monkey “Do not disturb” sign, holding the gesture for periods to avoid other monkeys (not a bad idea).

But why are they doing it? It’s unlikely that they’ve found something stupid on the Internet. Nor are the mandrills trying to block out light. They’ll make the same gesture in the shade or under overcast skies and only a third of the facepalms happened in direct sunlight. They’re not trying to wipe anything away, for the facepalms can last for as long as 17 minutes.
Via Discover Magazine – Monkey see, monkey facepalm

Teenager Creates Solar Death Ray, Threatens Governments Worldwide

Harnessing the power of over 5,000 suns (not yet 9,000) a 19 year old has created a death ray in the spirit of solar cooking devices built by survivalists and environmentalists. Though not exactly as effective as you’d want it to be the project is pretty cool and the only thing lame about it is that he actually spent the time to make it. Check out the YouTube video below, welcome your new laser wielding overlords!

Errata…

In other lame news, Earth is not “in another Solar System”. Thanks Gizmodo! Seems that when they aren’t stealing phones they have some (obvious) reporting value.

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Warner Brothers Leak Part of Harry Potter? (Yes, yes they did)

Posted in FAIL, Lame, News, Rant, Video on November 17th, 2010 by admin
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This story caught my eye because they put torrent in quotes, like torrent sites don’t exist;

For those of you too busy downloading the entire Beatles catalogue to check out entertainment news, the second-to-last “Harry Potter” movie debuts Friday.

The first 36 minutes of the film are already online, circulating on a number of “torrent” sites, which help users download sometimes- pirated media files. The leaked chunk of the movie is raising some interesting questions. Among them: Will the film actually do better because a portion of it has been leaked online?

One blogger goes further, asking if Warner Bros. Entertainment, which made the film and shares a parent company with CNN, leaked the clip on purpose

“Warner Bros. Pictures is usually none too fond of leaks, especially if a film gets out before it premieres in theater,” writes Ernesto, editor-in-chief of the site TorrentFreak.com

The TorrentFreak editor doesn’t realize, I guess, the extreme amount of correlation between a movie being distributed by Warner Bros. and the likelihood it will show up on torrent sites before being released. Now I didn’t say causation – I’m not going to just say that Warner does this – but it seems odd. Then it seems odd that the news organization who is also part of their parent company would be running this as one of their top stories.

I’m just going to suggest that they may not have leaked the beginning of the movie – but they want you to go out and find it, watch it and want more. Because this is the perfect trick to pull on Potter fans. They won’t be happy with watching even half of it – and if the fans are not sure if they want to get out to see the movie some leaked footage is a great way to have them salivating for more. If it’s good enough – and God damn do people love their Harry Potter.

If I had a dollar for every Warner Bros. screener I’ve seen offered online I’d be a rich man. I think this is more of the same, guerilla, viral marketing. Otherwise they wouldn’t be pushing a news story on it – they might have kept quiet.

Quote and story via CNN News (who is in the umbrella of companies that Warner Bros. is also a part of..) @ http://m.cnn.com/primary/_nzxmS3-in6b0iFBoA

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Not Lame – Sweet Deal: Antec Three Hundred ATX Mid Tower Case

Posted in News, Not Lame, Review on September 6th, 2010 by admin
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If I had a job, I’d buy it myself – nice cheap compact case with a lot of places for fans and ventilation. I’m running a nice little Intel Quad Core, and it can get hot even with some of the best air cooling (haven’t made the jump to water cooling – have you seen the price?);

Impressively spacious and unbeatably reliable, the Antec Three Hundred is an unbeatable enclosure. Despite its eminently portable frame, the Three Hundred has enough room for an NVIDIA 8800 series graphics card, as well as six hard drives and a standard ATX motherboard. A cable management compartment keeps your system organized and the airflow unobstructed. A 120mm rear fan and 140mm top fan ensure that the case runs cool even when playing the most demanding games, while the sleek black finish gives it an extra stylish edge.

Micro Center – Antec Three Hundred ATX Mid Tower Case THREE HUNDRED. Price is $54.39, save $13.60

This is from the MicroCenter weekly ad. My favorite place to shop for computer parts because they are competitively priced and an actual brick-and-mortar store to browse around in.

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OH NOES: New Zealand Hit By 7.1 Magnitude Earthquake… Guess Where

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Lame, News, Satire, Twitter on September 3rd, 2010 by admin
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Of all places in the world - Christchurch, New Zealand was hit today with a 7.1 magnitude earthquake. Because I’m an American I had no idea that, as Wikipedia puts it, “The Christchurch urban area is the second-largest in the country by population, after Auckland.” I don’t care, I still think the whole things is ironic given the name of the place. I don’t think they will garner a lot of donations.

According to reports;

The quake was felt widely across the South Island and as far north as Wellington and Palmerston North.

Power is out to most of Christchurch and rural Canterbury, and the central city has been closed down by police because of the amount of rubble in the streets. Water pipes have ruptured and there are reports of flooding in some eastern Christchurch areas.

As many as 1000 residents from Christchurchs seaside suburbs may be evacuated due to flooding from broken water and sewage pipes. Civil Defence said a decision would be made shortly on whether to evacuate residents from New Brighton to Aranui or Linwood High Schools.

Emergency services have rescued about 10 people from holes in the ground including a person who was trapped in a pit in River Road after the ground collapsed.

via Chch state of emergency – national | Stuff.co.nz. Also see residents’ reactions to the quake from stuff.co.nz.

See this twitter search for possible updates from people inside the area of Christchurch.

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Lame Breaking News – Discovery Channel Offices Have Hostage Situation [Live Link]

Posted in FAIL, Lame, News, Rant, Twitter, Video on September 1st, 2010 by admin
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The Washington Post is reporting that the offices of the Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel and others (their parent company is known as Discovery Communications Inc.) have a hostage situation in Silver Springs, Maryland. The man is said to have an explosive device on him;

A man with what appears to be an explosive device on him has taken at least one hostage at the Discovery Building in downtown Silver Spring, Montgomery County Police said.Cpl. Dan Friz said police received a call about 1 p.m., of shots fired in the lobby.Tactical officers are on the scene and developing a plan to deal with the situation.Police initially said the building was being evacuated, but employees said they were told via email to stay at their desks.

Officers have not fired their weapons, Friz said.

via Post Now – Discovery building being evacuated.

For more information and possibly news as it develops please see the following Google live search link:

GOOGLE: Live Search Results for Discovery Building

And this just reported on Twitter:

Update: Alleged Discovery Channel HQ gunman ID’d as James Jay Lee; has history of protesting outside building – NBC

See this live Google search on James Jay Lee:

GOOGLE: Live Search Results James Jay Lee

Update: CBS News Live Video of Hostage Situation at Discovery Channel Offices

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Lame: Being a Panhandler

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Lame, News, Rant, Satire on August 29th, 2010 by admin
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Bums. Scum. Those people.

If you live on Earth you likely live by a place where people just beg, their vocation is soliciting donations for their cause – ass, grass or gas – you work to support them. But don’t feel sorry for all of them. For some can make a buck, euro or yuan really last a long time – so long they don’t even take place in the Supermarket Sweep you’d go through because you eat a lot more than these ninjas. They were given free $50 credit cards and mostly didn’t even use them. For god’s sake, I’d be getting StarCraft II. Here is a sample of the results…

He handed over the gift card, having spent $8.69.

snip

On a good day, he takes in $40 to $50 through panhandling, most of which he spends on communal food for friends. Of his most effective panning signs: “Like Obama, I like change,” and “Smile if you masturbate. Spare change if you like it.” He carries his belongings in a knapsack — just a bit of clothing and toiletries.

via How panhandlers use free credit cards – thestar.com.

Though I have to add that this was in Canada (the story mentions another study as well.. interesting read). In Downtown Toronto a homeless, handicapped, man once asked me for the mass-produced cigars I was smoking. I stopped, went back and tried to pay into the Canadian karma system by giving him one when he gave me a $2.00 CAD – which at the time, after 9/11, was starting to be worth more than the American Dollar and way more than what I paid for them in the states. This shocked all of us when he said it was his pleasure. WTF?

Though there is a guy I look for when life gets crazy – he is homeless and always smiling, and if you only just say ‘hello’ to him he will skip you every time you walk past him for the rest of his life. I swear. I think it was Christmas day or something that I saw him and offered to buy something and he turned me down… WTF?

I think they like it, seems kinda easy.

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