OH NOES: New Zealand Hit By 7.1 Magnitude Earthquake… Guess Where

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Lame, News, Satire, Twitter on September 3rd, 2010 by admin

Of all places in the world - Christchurch, New Zealand was hit today with a 7.1 magnitude earthquake. Because I’m an American I had no idea that, as Wikipedia puts it, “The Christchurch urban area is the second-largest in the country by population, after Auckland.” I don’t care, I still think the whole things is ironic given the name of the place. I don’t think they will garner a lot of donations.

According to reports;

The quake was felt widely across the South Island and as far north as Wellington and Palmerston North.

Power is out to most of Christchurch and rural Canterbury, and the central city has been closed down by police because of the amount of rubble in the streets. Water pipes have ruptured and there are reports of flooding in some eastern Christchurch areas.

As many as 1000 residents from Christchurchs seaside suburbs may be evacuated due to flooding from broken water and sewage pipes. Civil Defence said a decision would be made shortly on whether to evacuate residents from New Brighton to Aranui or Linwood High Schools.

Emergency services have rescued about 10 people from holes in the ground including a person who was trapped in a pit in River Road after the ground collapsed.

via Chch state of emergency – national | Stuff.co.nz. Also see residents’ reactions to the quake from stuff.co.nz.

See this twitter search for possible updates from people inside the area of Christchurch.

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Lame Breaking News – Discovery Channel Offices Have Hostage Situation [Live Link]

Posted in FAIL, Lame, News, Rant, Twitter, Video on September 1st, 2010 by admin

The Washington Post is reporting that the offices of the Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel and others (their parent company is known as Discovery Communications Inc.) have a hostage situation in Silver Springs, Maryland. The man is said to have an explosive device on him;

A man with what appears to be an explosive device on him has taken at least one hostage at the Discovery Building in downtown Silver Spring, Montgomery County Police said.Cpl. Dan Friz said police received a call about 1 p.m., of shots fired in the lobby.Tactical officers are on the scene and developing a plan to deal with the situation.Police initially said the building was being evacuated, but employees said they were told via email to stay at their desks.

Officers have not fired their weapons, Friz said.

via Post Now – Discovery building being evacuated.

For more information and possibly news as it develops please see the following Google live search link:

GOOGLE: Live Search Results for Discovery Building

And this just reported on Twitter:

Update: Alleged Discovery Channel HQ gunman ID’d as James Jay Lee; has history of protesting outside building – NBC

See this live Google search on James Jay Lee:

GOOGLE: Live Search Results James Jay Lee

Update: CBS News Live Video of Hostage Situation at Discovery Channel Offices

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Lame: Being a Panhandler

Posted in FAIL, Funny, Lame, News, Rant, Satire on August 29th, 2010 by admin

Bums. Scum. Those people.

If you live on Earth you likely live by a place where people just beg, their vocation is soliciting donations for their cause – ass, grass or gas – you work to support them. But don’t feel sorry for all of them. For some can make a buck, euro or yuan really last a long time – so long they don’t even take place in the Supermarket Sweep you’d go through because you eat a lot more than these ninjas. They were given free $50 credit cards and mostly didn’t even use them. For god’s sake, I’d be getting StarCraft II. Here is a sample of the results…

He handed over the gift card, having spent $8.69.

snip

On a good day, he takes in $40 to $50 through panhandling, most of which he spends on communal food for friends. Of his most effective panning signs: “Like Obama, I like change,” and “Smile if you masturbate. Spare change if you like it.” He carries his belongings in a knapsack — just a bit of clothing and toiletries.

via How panhandlers use free credit cards – thestar.com.

Though I have to add that this was in Canada (the story mentions another study as well.. interesting read). In Downtown Toronto a homeless, handicapped, man once asked me for the mass-produced cigars I was smoking. I stopped, went back and tried to pay into the Canadian karma system by giving him one when he gave me a $2.00 CAD – which at the time, after 9/11, was starting to be worth more than the American Dollar and way more than what I paid for them in the states. This shocked all of us when he said it was his pleasure. WTF?

Though there is a guy I look for when life gets crazy – he is homeless and always smiling, and if you only just say ‘hello’ to him he will skip you every time you walk past him for the rest of his life. I swear. I think it was Christmas day or something that I saw him and offered to buy something and he turned me down… WTF?

I think they like it, seems kinda easy.

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Shocking: Sarah Palin Supports Dr. Laura Dropping the N-Bomb 11 Times On-Air

Posted in FAIL, Lame, News, Politics, Rant, Review, Twitter on August 19th, 2010 by admin

Sarah Palin – you never cease to amaze me. After Dr. Laura Schlessinger decided it would be best to quit radio after dropping the N-bomb on the radio last week Palin has come out on Twitter supporting Dr. Laura for being an idiot.

Okay – mind you when Obama came out in support of the “Ground Zero Mosque” Palin asked Obama (also via Twitter) that even though they could build it there should they? Obama was making the point that the Muslim community had every right to build a mosque at the top of the new Freedom Tower if they wanted to – that it was America, and they had that right. Palin didn’t disagree, through Twitter, but she certainly said it wasn’t a wise move, that it was in poor taste and offensive.

Somehow though, the irony has been lost on her….

Dr.Laura:don’t retreat…reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence”isn’t American,not fair”)

LOLWUT? In American please?

Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!

First, WTF, in this siutation, is a “Constitutional Obstructionist”? And what is Dr. Laura’s agenda, the one that she’s becoming more powerful in dying for? Being a racist cunt?

The best part, at least to me, is that Dr. Laura said this word to someone who had a problem with it. She used it 11 times with a woman who was black and uncomfortable with white people using it. Palin, you’ve defended her right to say the word – but did you ask if she should have used it?

Well, enjoy the following while you ponder this madness;

OFFICIAL UPDATE: Oh and I need to add.. Palin, you so dumb, you dun goofed: Black people love Twitter, you are making the case in the wrong forum. Take it to radio, that’s where the elite white people go to complain.

OH SHIT MORE UPDATES!: SHERYL CROW NOW SAYS TO PALIN: “STFU NOOB”

Though the sub-headline reads: Eco-nut/singer worries over America’s ‘kool-aid’ drinking and ‘ignorance’ the article is a great review of exactly why you should all go out and listen to Sheryl Crow again (FTFA, “she’s telling former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to zip it”):

The Grammy Award-winning songstress makes it clear what she thinks of Conservatives[] and Traditional American Views[], crooning sarcastically that “Ignorance is patriotic, reasons are so idiotic.”

Crow also made an emotional appeal to the young and impressionable, urging them to steer clear of the “hatred” that has apparently been manufactured by “talking heads” and their “hate campaigns.”
All you little ones with open hearts, don’t let hatred tear your world apart. And if you wonder who is wrong and who is right, better go ask God to shine some light,” she sings. Not surprisingly, there’s no equivalent line warning about the hatreds of liberal songwriters.

Owned. Especially when you look at the three together, it makes this other cunt Alana Goodman at the Culture and Media Institute (who puked up the story copy) look like the biggest idiot of all four fine ladies. Crow hates America™ and is the biggest hater of all the hater liberal songwriters (again, LOLWUT?) – but she’s 100% correct about her warning of talking heads spreading hatred. Expect her to be burned at the stake just for providing the warning. Maybe even by both sides.

Go check out the Culture and Media Institute’s story, they even included full lyrics of Sheryl Crow’s new song “Say What You Want” FTW.

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Lame: The Huffington Post is Becoming the New York Post

Posted in Comedy, Funny, Lame, News, Photo, Satire, Screenshot on August 19th, 2010 by admin

I have to say, I’m kinda surprised that The Huffington Post would run this type of thing, but at least they are getting good at perfecting their inner-tabloid (link: Brittany Murphy’s Mom Fucked Brittany Murphy’s Husband After Brittany Murphy Died – Proof She Did It All For The Nookie) …

Julianna Margulies Has The Perfect Mouth To Make You Happy - Oral Sex, I'm Talking Oral Sex Here

HuffPost - Julianna Margulies Must Love Oral Sex (Giving) - The HuffPost Caption Reads: Julianna Margulies BLOWS UP At Reporter Over Oral Sex Question

According to the article – Margulies swallows, hardcore.

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Lame: Bears Too High To Guard Pot

Posted in FAIL, Funny, News, Photo on August 19th, 2010 by admin

Pot Smoking Bears Guard MarijuanaA group of smart and stupid and high women in Canada decided to use bears to guard their pot growing operation. The only problem? They overfed the bears and let them chill out and smoke the dope they were growing.

The bears were useless against the police who found the bears to be relaxed and playful – and not much interested in doing much more than hand out and see what the police were up to.

“During the whole exercise, there was never an aggressive move by these animals. At one point, one of the bears jumped on the hood of the police car, sat there for a little while, and then jumped off.”

via CTV Calgary- “Grizzly” discovery during B.C. drug bust – CTV News.

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Lame: Offended at the Mosque but Not Ground Zero as a Tourist Destination

Posted in FAIL, Lame, News, Photo, Politics, Rant on August 18th, 2010 by admin

If you are one of these GOP fucktards you’ve made a big issue out of the proposed mosque to be built blocks away from Ground Zero – but not the blockage, your blockage, of the Zadroga 9/11 Health & Compensation Act that will provide healthcare to first responders and other 9/11 victims. Worse yet, you likely showed up at a mass grave and took a picture like this:

Hot Chicks Smiling At Ground Zero

Hot Chicks Smiling At Ground Zero... their expressions, very disgusting

….Because to you Ground Zero is a commercial tourist destination. Not hallowed ground.

Picture via: Hot Chicks Smiling at Ground Zero.com

Read more: The 9/11 Heath Crisis
Donate: Support 9/11 Health Now

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Not Lame: OMFG Olivia Is On The Daily Show Now

Posted in Comedy, Funny, News, Not Lame, Photo, Politics, Review, Screenshot, Video on July 3rd, 2010 by admin
Olivia Munn on The Daily Show

Olivia Munn - Espionage Correspondent

Praise Allah, Jesus and L. Ron Hubbard! Olivia Munn, the sexy German-Irish-Chinese goddess looks to be a new corespondent on The Daily Show. This has to be groundbreaking for her, to get on another channel than G4, even if it is Comedy Central. Don’t get me wrong, Attack of the Show is great, her and Kevin Pereira are great together – but any time we get to see more of her and people start asking for more only good things can happen.

Apparently though, this is not her first appearance on the show, I just had no idea. Excuse me while I continue to overreact.

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Birds Released From Oil Spill – To New “Home”

Posted in Comedy, FAIL, Funny, Kinda Lame, News, Satire on June 5th, 2010 by admin

You might as well get it out of the way and realize it’s Katrina all over again. These poor birds were living their lives and got covered in oil and now they are in the jail known as the Sherburne Wildlife Area. Why is everyone being shipped out of Louisiana? Did we sell it back 10 years ago and this is all part of the final steps? Now all of New Orleans, and now these poor birds are being “cleaned up” and shipped away – in this case a total of 80 whole kilometers! It’s very sad, serious business;

“He is scoping around his new home,” Sharon Taylor, a Corrections Officer with the US Fish and Wildlife Marshal Service, says of the prisoner.

The bird then took a few steps into fenced in cage before trying out his wings. His smaller companion followed a few minutes later.

“They look right at home here,” said Taylor, surrounded by fencing dotted by hardened birds.

via AFP: Birds released from oily grave, never to see the ocean again.

For me to follow up with: You obligatory oil spill humor, the original link to the Mario Brothers – BP Oil Edition. Instant classic.

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Fail: Gordon Brown makes election gaffe causing him to /facepalm

Posted in FAIL, Funny, News, Politics, Uncategorized on April 29th, 2010 by admin

Prime Minister Gordon Brown today, who is polling third behind his opponents in the election, called a female candidate a bigoted woman in private remarks which were recorded and played back to him on the BBC. He swiftly apologized but it’s sure to sting a little longer though his apology was accepted by his opponent.

Edit: I fail, the woman was just some random bigot who was out getting bread and milk. I read another story that claimed she was a candidate.

For television viewers, one of the day’s most excruciating moments came when a BBC Radio announcer told Brown that he had a tape recording of the private conversation and played it back for him. In what could become a defining image of the election, Brown, whose party is running third in most opinion polls, buried his head in his hands.

Via The Washington Post: Gordon Brown stumbles on campaign trail.

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