No, It’s Okay! We Can Say That Now, Sarah Said So.

Posted in News, Politics, Review, Satire on February 10th, 2010 by admin

Hey White People, how’s it going? It’s an amazing time we live in, that’s for sure. We found out if we can say the notorious “N” word from Chris Rock (not really, but we now know the exact moment in time when it is okay!). Now we are learning that it is okay to say the once used, now retired “R” word. That’s right, retarded is making a comeback. We can even go full on retarded! It’s not offensive anymore to people with difficulties because Queen Royal of the White People said it’s okay – no word from the King Master of the White People Barack Obama however (face it, he can be the king – he is the damn President, it’s by default in ‘merica).

You see – Sarah Palin, the very same failed Vice Presidential Candidate of yesteryear, explained for us when it is okay to say retarded. The test is that if you are joking, doing it for show and trying to get a rise out of someone it is okay. Behind closed doors in anger – not okay. You can’t be going around now telling everyone they are retarded just because you are angry. But making fun of Bob the office clown’s antics at the water cooler – okay! You can tell everyone how much he “LOOKS LIKE A FACK’N RETARD!” and everyone can ROFLCOPTER till lunch.

Minorities, consult your local leadership, I can’t tell you when and where to say retarded. Queen Sarah doesn’t speak for you (but you knew that I’m sure, unless you’re retarded). This ability to be able to – run around the local theme park yelling “RETARD, RETARD!, RETARD!” is a very freeing thing. WP, you know how much you are going to love this? Grocery store, bags of frozen peas on your head and your friends yelling at your retarded ways. That’s definitely not lame.

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Hack: Cleaning Up Your Gmail Account In A Few Simple Steps

Posted in Not Lame, Rant, Review, Software on September 8th, 2009 by admin

It seems that over time I’ve collected over 20,000 Gmail “conversations” and until today had 1,800 unread e-mails in my inbox. Who knows how many “read” e-mails I might have had. When I first opened the account in 2004 I was very diligent when it came to cleaning the inbox up, archiving, staring, and so forth. I rarely deleted e-mails as there seems to be no reason to with Gmail (The footer reads: You are currently using 976 MB (13%) of your 7367 MB). Alas what started as a dedicated mail trap has moved on to become the catch-all mailbox. And why not? It is so easy to search and manage that there is no reason to continually archive and delete. Something had to be done though when I linked Gmail to my iPhone.

I was rarely checking e-mail, up until a year ago, as it wasn’t a source of communication for me. I was e-mailing assignments to teachers (before I graduated from the diploma mill) and getting newsletters and so forth when I started this account. Now everyone is using e-mail and I get quite a few important updates such as Facebook notifications, etc. But that was just coming in too fast, and I wasn’t good about “deleting” stuff. If you click a link an in e-mail on the iPhone you are taken right to Safari and will likely not go back an archive the message when you get the next chance to do so.

The problem I had was that I like to use the “unread” status, rather keeping things unread, to know that I need to follow up on an item (notorious one at this point is the reminder to file my tax returns!). This works for Outlook at work as you can create a search folder that displays just those unread e-mails – I don’t see a way to do that with Gmail on the iPhone (though I have an idea for how to do so with labels!).

So I needed to clean everything up. Turns out it was an easy process. I started by searching for things that seem to flood my “inbox” but that would have taken hours to find each Crate and Barrel, The Onion, Border Rewards and Facebook e-mail that was ever sent to me.

Instead I did the following:

Searched using the following: label:inbox label:read

Selected all (using the Select: All, None, Read, Unread, Starred, Unstarred shortcuts). Then continuted to select more using the “Select all conversations that match this search” option.

Hit the archive button, confirming I wanted to archive each and every one of those suckers.

Profit!
(Though you’ll notice there is an extra step in there – it can be done differently, but it wasn’t allowing me to archive every one using Select: Unread.)

Then to clean up my unread e-mails:

Starred those 10 e-mails that are sitting there as reminders.

Searched: label:inbox -is:starred
(Notice the minus sign in front of the “is:starred”, this will perform an inverse selection)
“Select all conversations that match this search”

Hit the archive button, confirming I wanted to archive each and every one of those suckers.

Profit!

Now I have 10 e-mails sitting in my inbox that I can easily scan over and the unread reminders are no longer spread out with 25 read pieces of junkĀ in between. Very much for the win. Now I just have to keep up on it. But using the above steps I can just go back maybe once a month and perform some clean up when needed, in just a few minutes (if even a whole minute).

UPDATE: Check out this nifty list of Gmail search terms that could make your (e-mail) life easier.

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Lame: After Updating to Firmware 3.0 You’ll See iPhone sync error 13019

Posted in Lame, Mobile, News, Review, Software on June 17th, 2009 by admin

If you recently updated to the iPhone 3.0 firmware you may find that you can’t sync your iPhone in Windows (reports coming in from Windows 7, Vista and XP) without receiving an error. The sync is automatic after the update, and the lame part is that when it fails it will make all your media invisible to you in the iPod app.

Luckily there is a solution to this fail other than restoring from a backup (lengthy) or just throwing your Jesus Phone away:

Heres how to fix.

Unsync your music/videos or whatever isnt going onto your iphone/itouch by plugging in your device and unchecking the sync box within each multimedia tab then click apply. Let the device sync then once completed reconnect your device check all your sync tabs that you want and sync again. This should resolve the problems and sync your files.

It should only be your music and videos and some podcast that dont sync at the start but this description should fix the error 13019.

via Apple – Support – Discussions – Iphone sync error 13019? ….

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Not Lame: Blog to Read: “The DCeiver” – Seriously Funny Political Shit

Posted in Clip, Comedy, Funny, News, Not Lame, Politics, Review, Satire on June 17th, 2009 by admin

If you are going to read one political blog to make you laugh, and maybe cry, from laughing, it should be The DCeiver. Check out the sample post I stole below (yes, in its entirety because I’m just that lame). KTHXBAI…

Via Andrew Sullivan, here’s a look at the socialism that Sarah Palin has been warning you about, because she can see it from her porch or some shit:

Yeah, so, it goes like this. First, they came for $82.3 billion, and I said nothing, because FUCK DUDE, we still had $39.2 trillion, and yeah, I was like, “WOO, POP SOME CRISTAL UP IN THIS PIECE!” and anyway, did you know we are using some of that money to make another Final Destination sequel? It’s TRUE, we are, and yeah, I’D LOVE TO SEE CAPITALISM EXPLAIN THAT.

via The DCeiver: Meet You In The Breadline, Comrades!.

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Not Lame: The Annotated White House Flickr Feed Via The Awl

Posted in Clip, Comedy, Funny, News, Not Lame, Photo, Politics, Review, Satire on June 17th, 2009 by admin

Ana Marie Cox and Jason Linkins annotate White House images taken byĀ Pete Souza – Link at the bottom, hilarious.

We’re gonna leave the old man alone. He’s a hero.

But fuck this guy.

via The Annotated White House Flickr Feed, With Ana Marie Cox And Jason Linkins | The Awl.

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Not Lame: Fake Amazon Reviews

Posted in Not Lame, Review on May 26th, 2009 by admin

This shirt is real ultimate power…

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.

Digg.com:Ā OMG The Reviews of this T-Shirt on Amazon!.

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Not Lame: Beating Them At Their Own Game

Posted in News, Not Lame, Politics, Review, Video on May 25th, 2009 by admin

Democratic Speed Reader

The Republicans tried to stall the proceedings by making the Democrats read 900 pages of a bill. They changed everything by hiring a speed reader.

via Democratic Speed Reader from TubularGoldmine.

Democratic Speed Reader – watch more funny videos
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Kinda Lame: Shawshank Redemption Montage!

Posted in Kinda Lame, Review, Video on May 25th, 2009 by admin

If the Academy Award nominated “Shawshank Redemption” was made in 1983, this is probably what the last twenty minutes would look like.

Awesome 80s Montage: Shawshank Redemption.

Awesome 80’s Montage: Shawshank – watch more funny videos
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Not Lame: State Fair Brand Corn Dogs

Posted in Not Lame, Review on May 24th, 2009 by admin

These are the best corn dogs money can buy (in the grocery store):

A classic corn dog with beefed-up taste These beauties feature a juicy, all-beef frank wrapped in State Fairs signature honey-sweetened cornbread batter. Available in 5- and 8-count boxes and 12-count individually wrapped boxes.

via Welcome to State Fair – Corn Dogs.

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Lame: Wolfram Alpha Doesn’t Care About Murlocs

Posted in Lame, News, Photo, Review, Screenshot, Software on May 17th, 2009 by admin

I went over to Wolfram Alpha today and gave it a simple question, that was able to be answered on The Instance (a World of Warcraft podcast) in seconds flat – “How Much Mur, Could a Murloc Loc, If a Murloc Could Loc Mur?”

Here was the response:

how-muc-mur-could-a-murloc-loc-if-a-murloc-could-loc-mur

Apparently I’m not the only one having problems, and Wolfram Alpha isn’t a tool for everyone and everything:

The service’s data is incredibly limited at this point, though, which isn’t surprising. The father of the project, controversial scientist Stephen Wolfram, says this isn’t a finished product. So many of the queries even that the company suggests trying with WA simply don’t work yet. The question is whether they ever will – from an outside perspective, it feels like the kind of project that could require immense amounts of human work.

via I Am Not Smart Enough for Wolfram Alpha – PC World.

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