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RUMOR ALERT: Uncle Ben’s To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

LULZ! Hoping to boost profits by cutting into the valuable market share currently occupied by Apple’s popular iPhone 4S, top American rice manufacturer Uncle Ben’s announced plans Tuesday to release its first-ever smartphone. Uncle Ben’s, a company traditionally known for

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Posted in Comedy, Funny, Internet, iPhone, News, Rumor, Satire, Shopping, The Onion

The Onion – Greatest Hits – Man on the Street & Excess Fat Diminishes Brainpower

“I thought there was a correlation. Its amazing how many dumb fucks are also dumb, fat fucks.” via Excess Fat Diminishes Brainpower | The Onion – Americas Finest News Source | American Voices.

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Posted in Comedy, Funny, Not Lame, Photo, Politics, Rant, Satire

Not Lame: The Onion Opinions On Federal Same-sex Benefits

“How immoral! Accessing a partner’s flexible spending account to purchase prescription eyewear with pretax earnings is a right that should only be granted to those in religiously-sanctioned heterosexual relationships.” Via TheOnion – Benefits Extended To Federal Employees Domestic Partners

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Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It | The Onion

Couldn’t not share this one.…/members_of_twisted_sister NEW YORK—In a stunning reversal of their long-stated reluctance to take it, members of heavy-metal band Twisted Sister announced Monday that, after 24 years of fervent refusal, they are now willing to take it.

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Posted in Mobile, Not Lame