Price: $4,800,000
Location: 3003 Vernon Asbury Rd, South Vienna, OH 45369
Acres: 211.76, because who doesn’t love a bit of land?
Beds: 5
Baths: 4
Year Built: 2007
It’s not every day that a home exudes both charm and complaint—like a potato chip bag that promises 25% more chips but is only half full. Here we have a sprawling single-family residence that sits sedately on 211.76 acres of Ohio. Picture it as a classic rom-com: part love story, part head-scratch induced by that charmingly eccentric plot twist. Let’s dive in!
The Dreamy Features
Let’s start with the highlights, shall we? This property flaunts some fantastic features that will have you internally shouting “Take my money!”
Spacious Living (And a Whole Lot of It!)
- Bedrooms: 5 – because everyone deserves a place to escape to (or avoid the laundry).
- Bathrooms: 4 – one for you, one for each of your potential house guests, and maybe one for the popcorn you won’t share.
- Living Room: A generous 19 x 32, perfect for family gatherings or simply lying around while you pretend “Grey’s Anatomy” is still a medical show instead of a soap opera at this point.
Not One, but Two Gorgeous Rooms!
Media Room: At a dazzling 35 x 19, it comes fully equipped with theatre seating and surround sound that will render your 4K TV practically obsolete. Bring on the mini popcorn machine!
Breakfast Room Nook: 11 x 11 – a cozy corner where you can sip coffee while contemplating how to avoid the kitchen… forever.
Oh So Many Orgs!
- Geothermal Heating & Central Air – Keep your energy bills low and your home temperature comfortable. You’ll be so snug you might forget the world outside.
A Whole Lot of Land
- 211.76 Acres, including 158.66 acres tillable—so whether you want to be a farmer or just some land hoarder, you’ve got options!
Wrap-Around Porch: The Good and The Bad
Pros: Take a seat on the wrap-around porch and sip sweet tea while contemplating your life choices. Or plan an elaborate game of tag with all the kids (or the dog).
Cons: Be wary of getting stuck in a cute neighbor’s small talk trap—“Oh, you want to live in Ohio? Are you a rebel against city life?”
The Oddities and Flaws
Let’s not sugarcoat this beauty, though. Some quirks need mentioning!
Four-Stop Elevator: It’s like Hogwarts—only for moving between floors. Just make sure you’re not on a diet or you might be tempted to take the elevator to the… kitchen!
Custom Woodwork: Sure, it’s beautiful. But it’s also a bit like a complex puzzle. Dusting will be a workout—who knew cleaning could double as cardio?
Pond: Professionally stocked. Great for all your fishing dreams but just be careful—fishing may turn into a competitive sport if the neighbors join in.
Practical (But Not Dull) Features
Garage Space: Four spaces for all your toys—the typical two-car garage just won’t cut it for those raised in the Midwest. Plus, there’s a barn! Bring on the chickens and the occasional goat if that’s your vibe.
Other Stations: Built in 2007, this residence has seen a wealth of modern features such as double-pane windows and vinyl siding. We’re talking energy efficiency and curb appeal!
The Bigger Picture
Living here feels like being on a permanent vacation without having to post about it on Instagram. Surrounded by nature, you can unleash your inner cowboy or artist—whether you’re pondering deeply about the universe or just putting on your best feedbag to channel your inner farmer.
Tax Assessed Value: $962,600
Annual Tax Amount: $10,965 – yes, that’s a hefty price tag for living large in the countryside!
The charm of this unique abode is like a well-aged bourbon; complex, rich, and leaving you with an aftertaste that can be hard to let go of.
In summary, 3003 Vernon Asbury Rd is part dream home, part quirky delight, and all-around a unique treasure in South Vienna, Ohio.
Don’t Take My Word for It…
Check out the images below—where you can admire this home’s curious blend of grandeur and homely charm. Is it a little wild? Absolutely! But so is the cat that hasn’t figured out how to use the litter box—both a mystery and source of endless entertainment!
Happy house hunting! 🏡
3003 Vernon Asbury Rd, South Vienna, OH 45369
