Kinda Lame

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These Japanese – they all have a scary and dangerous addiction to a evil menace that seems to now threaten the world population. Pocky.

Sure, it seems innocent. Chocolate (or strawberry, cappuccino or worse) over a cracker. But it’s on a stick. Nothing good comes on a stick. What’s worse is good ol’ Americans import and eat this stuff all the time. If you are a Hipster or are faking an interest in Japanese culture (to mask your sick manga addiction) you have some in your glove box or stashed away somewhere.

Now, here in America we like hot dogs wrapped in corn bread on a stick. There is nothing wrong with a corn dog – there is little chance at addiction, there is absolutely no problem if you eat 10 to 30 in a day.

I wasn’t too worried about this menace when I was first introduced to it. I shook the habit and realized I wouldn’t spend enough time in my local specialty food store to get my hands on Pocky. But after going to this grocery store of the world to pick up a 55 gallon drum of peanut oil (for making steaks) I discovered the item pictured above.

After some debate in the Japanese import aisle I found myself lost in – I did the unspeakable and purchased some of this Pocky. I cringed at the idea of another slimy Japanese Mafia member making money off my purchase. I had to test my theory. Sure enough when you combine the addictive and menacing substance with a clean cut childhood figure – in this case Thomas the Tank Engine – kids can’t resist the stuff.

Parents, keep your kids out of the Japanese foods aisle. Upon sight alone they will want it, and will be at the same time throwing their lives away. You might as well withdraw their college accounts now and prepare them for a Lindsey Lohan lifestyle. They will later, no doubt, be stealing to support their Pocky habit.

So sinister. You’ve been warned.

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These are the best corn dogs money can buy (in the grocery store):

A classic corn dog with beefed-up taste These beauties feature a juicy, all-beef frank wrapped in State Fairs signature honey-sweetened cornbread batter. Available in 5- and 8-count boxes and 12-count individually wrapped boxes.

via Welcome to State Fair – Corn Dogs.

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Fridays were made for Willie’s Sports Cafe!

(Sent from my phone)

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Cincinnati was the best place to meet a pretty girl, “a beautiful mix of German and Irish.” Here is to you.
Posted via Pixelpipe.

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I couldn’t see what they were making. Nuts?
Posted via Pixelpipe.

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You know what’s lame? “Coupon Slippers.”

Those people who just refuse to pay full price. They want the item in the grocery store or the meal in the restaurant but they just refuse to pay what the rest of us are paying. They are “slippers” because they know the coupon they are trying to pawn off isn’t any good. I was once in a deep relationship with one of these dishonest cheaters, I know how it works. They gather coupons for things they buy, restaurants they eat at and devise ways of slipping them through so no one notices. If it’s the store, go through the line of the guy or gal who looks tired or inexperienced and pass off the smaller item of the same brand. If it’s in a eatery, as I just witnessed, they claim that they’ve done it before with a different manager on duty – normally, “I’ve done this before” is usually the last refuge of the “Coupon Slipper”. It’s something that has to stop. Why should I pay more for something I was happy paying full price for because you don’t? If you don’t think $8 for a burger is justified, leave.

Oh, and I also learned: Old People Don’t Tip.